Decisions Decisions

So this past weekend I have made some pretty drastic life altering decisions.  For the past two and a half years Josh and I have not gotten along.  It's sad to say, but unfortunately we are no longer in love with each other.

So come September the kids and I will be moving up to Oregon.  I am going to have to completely change my life.  I will no longer have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and will now be a single parent.  This probably will shock most of you because most people don't know all the issues and drama that have been consuming my life.  But it is what it is.

This isn't a single person decision either.  Josh and I have both discussed this to great lengths and this is honestly the best thing for us.  I do not want to take his kids from him or his family.  I still very much want them in his life and him in theirs.  Hell he will still be in my life too.  the main thing is we are still great friends, but we are no longer in love with each other.  Most people (outside of Utah) who knew our situation and how we met and how long we knew each other all laughed at me or jumping the gun.  But at that point in my life I was not open to criticism, constructive or not. 

I have grown a lot in these past 4 1/2 years.  With much thanks to Josh.  I wish a magic airy could just make us both fall madly in love with each other again and make us okay with each others faults.  But it's never gonna happen.  And anyone who really knows me knows that Utah does not it my personality.  I used to think I was conservative.  Then I moved to Utah and realized as conservative as I am I am still too liberal for this place.  I like meeting people who are open to new ideas and even if those ideas don't fit them, they still accept that this is who other people are. 

I know I am just rambling now, but hell I am good at that.

But the main point is, in September I will be back in Oregon with my kids.  Josh and I are civilly deciding how everything will work and a schedule for the kids.  Like who gets them when.  And everything will stay civil until one of tries to keep the kids from the other person.  Everyone knows that the gossip around the family is that I am a helicopter mom and over protective and blah blah.  But I also know how much my kids love their parents and to keep them from either would be detrimental to them.

And the reason we are waiting until September is b/c the kids already know they are going to Oregon in September or Aunty Amber's wedding and it will give me a chance to get a game plan in place.  So there you have it.  I probably repeated myself a lot since I wrote half last night and half just now. lol  Any questions just message me either on here, FaceBook or yahoo messenger at princess_buffy_03